King of the Night

Celine Ng - third year medical student

Pale moonlight leaks through the window,
bounces off the cream walls
and sinks into the wooden floors.

I imagine it ruling over the sky -
king of the night,
guardian of the stars.

Hushed whispers
from a group of doctors.
One notices my unclosed eyes, smiles,
“Are you comfortable?”
I shrug.

A wave of nausea
lurches me out of a dream -
empty stomach twists & writhes.
I cling to the bedrails;
palms sweaty, head spinning,
I look to the moon and pray.

Hand pressing down on my stomach,
I look up into his eyes;
a dazzling twilight blue.
“We’ve increased your meds,
Are you feeling better?”

Bedsheets damp,
room plagued by the scorching sun;
its blistering rays sear my skin
and burn my eyes.
They dab at my forehead
and lower the shades.

Navy blue blazer, black stethoscope –
he stands before two starry-eyed students;
words disjointed, nonsensical,
“Pancreatic cancer”, “palliating”, “comfort” –
their eyes cloud over.

A family photo,
fresh floral arrangement,
stale breakfast tray.

My favourite opal charm –
cool against my jaundiced skin.
Round as the moon,
luminescent as the stars.
I like to think it catches my dreams,
brings me closer to the sky.

My son in the chair beside me,
runs his hand through my hair,
squeezes my hand gently.
“It’s ok, you can go back to sleep,”

The cool evening breeze
sings a bittersweet lullaby,
breathes life into my soul.

My son wheels me forward
and I lean into the night,
stretch out my arms, spread my wings
and fly towards the moon.